Are you ready for better intimacy and sex? Here are 3 ways to 'set the mood'.



Getting in the mood -together- is about calming the mind and synchronizing your rhythms. Here are three simple steps to follow. 

‘Create a state change’

Agree to connect by dropping resentment and to-do’s on the other side of the door. Leave your phones, chores and expectations to be present and connected. Put a scarf over the lamp* so you know we are not in the bedroom to organize the drawers or just talk, you came to enjoy physically intimacy.

‘Like music to my ears’

Just like in sports there’s the pregame music that pumps-you-up then National Anthem that unites you. Nothing sets the mood like music. Do you feel like a tango, two-step or twerk. Make playlists that are just for you and your team mate. You can make different ones for romance, play time, do make one just for repair and another one that’s just for those secret erotic adventures. 

'Say my name, say my name’

We all love to hear our name spoken lovingly it calms the nervous system especially from someone who loves us. Pet names are great, and I also want yours lips to hold their public name the safest. Say your partners name lovingly into their neck, chest and especially into their private parts during private moments for extra impact. Hearing your name spoken lovingly from your partner dramatically increases intimacy and connection. 


How do I know if I am on the G-Spot?

I have a question for your consideration. It concerns the female G spot! I know what it is I think! But how can a man (or couple) know if the magic spot has been found and this marvellous pleasure centre activated? Thanks in advance for your advice! — Ron

Here are a few ways to know if you are on the ever elusive G-Spot, which does exist. Believe me! 

Location Location Location. 

The G-Spot is inside the vagina, on the front side, right above the pubic bone about 1-1.5” just inside of her on the same side as her belly and the area feels bumpy like the roof of your mouth. 


Using two fingers, try the middle and ring, some like index and middle find what works for you both. Next is the part when you have to really listen to your partners pleasure, either tap or stroke ‘hither’ and you might need to tap hard or soft, and it might change each and every time you go to touch her. Because every time of the month her sensations are completely different. Tune in to your partner. 

Sometimes women experience this sensation as uncomfortable or that they have to pee. If she is uncomfortable go softer and try stroking side to side instead. You know it is the oh GEEZ-SPOT when it starts to swell and feel spongy like the part of your palm right under the thumb, then find the stroking/tapping that works for her and you will feel it continue to expand and move even closer to her external area. **
If she has to pee tell her not to worry about it, it is not usually pee but the closest to this strange sensation of fluids building in the skene gland. At this point if she ‘bares down’ she might even squirt. 
Release all expectations other than curiosity, exploration and pleasure.

Drop me a line and let me know how this tip worked for you. 

**The G-Spot is approximately 1-1.5” in and moves outward as she gets turned on. This is partly why ‘size does not matter’. Just sayin’! 

Can you help me with my oral skills? I would love to be able to satisfy a woman orally.

Q: Would you be able to help me with my oral skills? I would love to be able to satisfy a woman orally, but feel that I'm not doing it right, or perhaps I need more practice.

A: The key to good anything is skill, but in intimacy it is mostly presence. Presence allows you the ability to read your partner’s cues and respond in a way that promotes more pleasure, which is the ultimate goal. 

I can teach you to explore and respond to her pleasure, show you where the extra sensitive spots are and the different sensations that you can try ‘for her pleasure’. There are standard moves however, every woman is different, and every time you are with her she is different too, depending on mood, hormones and such.

The key to being a good lover oral or otherwise is to be present, connected and responsive to her pleasure.

I prefer to show you with your partner. Otherwise, I offer a session where you experience presence, connection and how to read a partner’s body, and how to get her to communicate what she likes, with me as your partner, with clear professional boundaries. I also have Betty, my ‘Pussy Puppet,’ where I can show you anatomically and instruct you in various techniques.

Until then, think of it as discovery. Try saying her name into her pussy. Use your tongue - slow, fast, hard, soft. Try the alphabet with your tongue and with sound. Try with a finger or without. Listen for her breathing, her sounds. Let her body speak to you. The key is presence and curiosity, the goal is pleasure, the result may or may not be orgasm.